toBefore any of you go saying, "Aww man you suck, I loved that one, it's a classic" hear me out. Just because you like something doesn't mean it's good. I like plenty of stuff that I know is just total garbage. Sometimes, it's just so awful, that it's good.
So below I give you the Top 3 (in my opinion) worst movies of the 90's.
These are not ranked or in any particular order. Just 3 awful movies.
1: Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead
After huge success on Married With Children, somebody decided to give Christina Applegate her own movie. Well, that's a fine idea, but when your writers are a bunch of monkeys, it usually doesn't turn out to be a good movie. The main character, Sue Ellen (played by Applegate) is left in charge of her siblings all summer long after the babysitter (you guessed it) dies.
She must go find a job, hide the fact that she is fresh out of high school with no college education, and make money.
She takes up as a clothing designer, where she is immediatley promoted to VP. She steals petty cash, her siblings buy all kinds of crap, and then the company may go under.
Really, doesn't sound so awful, except that the dialogue would have been better acted by 2 year olds.
Please just stay away from this movie, even though you're tempted to hear "the dishes are done man"
2: Batman and Robin
After a string of successful Batman movies, including the much underrated Batman Forever, Hollywood was at it again, Bringing back Chris O'Donnel to play Robin, they teamed him up with a new Bruce Wayne / Batman, none other than George Clooney. Also making her debut was Alcia Silverstone as Batgirl.
Our villans this time around were Poison Ivy played by Uma Thurman, and Mr. Freeze played by Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Where to begin?
Basically the whole movie is built around a made up disease called McGregor's syndrome. Mr. Freeze's wife had it and now Alfred the butler has it.
Freeze is trying to find a cure while teaming up with Poison Ivy to take over Gotham City.
Meanwhile, Batman and Robin fight over the love of Ivy who had cast a spell on them.
Just an awful movie all the way around. Arnold did not deliver here. He looked good as Mr. Freeze, but any time he had to speak, it hurt the movie. The Poison Ivy character was made out to be nothing but a lazt whore. George Clooney may very well be the worst Batman ever, and adding Batgirl was just plain awful.
3: Home Alone 3
I don't remember a ton about this one, but I remember just enough to know how awful it is.
Did the people at 20th Century Fox really think that after 2 hugely successful movies, they could go and make a third one 4 years later, and take out the main star?
In fact they didn't just take out Maculy Culkin, they took out everybody. No Harry, no Marv, NOTHING! It was a whole new kid with a whole new set of robbers who were looking for a micro chip that was placed in the kid's toy car he got for Christmas.
What was even worse is they made Home Alone 4, which visits the original characters ) played by new actors.
Did you think it could be worse than that?
Well it can. Home Alone 5 debuts this Christmas season on ABC Family.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Nick Game shows. We could have done it better, but never had the chance.
You always knew whatever kids were on that show were totally stupid and you could do it better, and win it all!
But you never had the chance.
You lived in some state, with fields and fields of corn and nothing to do. You lived all the way across the country, going to bed at night only dreaming of one day being at Nickelodeon studios.
But it never happened.
You're now in your late 20's and you still wish you could go, and haven't. You've never even been to Florida. For all you know, the place doesn't really exist.
To this day, you long for it. You want nothing more than to win a pile of crappy prizes to show off to your friends.
But you weren't one of the lucky ones.
That's ok, neither was I, and I turned out fine. As fine as one person can be when they never had the privilege of hoisting a piece of the Agro Crag over there head, or never showing off their mad gaming skills on Nick Arcade, but hey, we can still dream.
Reasons to LOVE Halloween day 8
In today's Reasons to LOVE Halloween I give you McDonald's Halloween Buckets.
Sure, they weren't THAT exciting, but in a way, they are. Not only did these serve as a toy, and container for you Happy Meal, but they could also be used for Trick or Treating, although the intention was good, nothing, i repeat, NOTHING could beat a pillowcase full of candy. For me I would have to have about 90 of these things to make the trip count.
Still though, it's amazing to come across these. I was out and about this evening and picked up 3 different ones for under 2.00.
There have been many versions of these done by McDonald's over the years, dating back I believe to 1986, with the latest being last year.
They were all similar looking, but all a little different as well. Some were just buckets, some had tops that doubled as cookie cutters, and some had different designs from previous versions.
I miss these days, and I'm glad that I was able to score a few of these, not only to have as decorations this year, but also for my collection of nostalgia.
Still though, it's amazing to come across these. I was out and about this evening and picked up 3 different ones for under 2.00.
There have been many versions of these done by McDonald's over the years, dating back I believe to 1986, with the latest being last year.
They were all similar looking, but all a little different as well. Some were just buckets, some had tops that doubled as cookie cutters, and some had different designs from previous versions.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Where is my Ghostbusters Firehouse!?!?!?!
So, I was going to save this, but, I couldn't help myself. My legendary rant of not getting a Ghostbusters Firehouse for Christmas when I was 4.
It was 1989. Christmas was coming. I couldn't wait. For weeks and weeks my parents had asked me what I wanted. They even took me to Santa, the one man in the world who would do it for me. He wouldn't disappoint me. Never. He had ALWAYS brought me good stuff in the past.
I was 4 years old. Gone were the easy years for my parents. Instead of just getting me whatever action figures they saw fit, and me being happy, they had asked me what I wanted. It was my call this year.
At the time I lived in a small town that didn't have many shopping options. There was Wal-Mart, and Pamida. That was it. No mall, no Target, no Toys R Us, nothing.
A couple months before that, we had gone to the big town. We were shopping in the toy aisles of Target, and my mission was to pick out a toy I wanted. As we turned the corner to the action figures, there it was on an endcap.
The Ghostbusters Firehouse playset.
I begged, I whined, I screamed, but no. Not today they said. So I ended up settling on a Power Pack Heroes Louis Tully figure.
But as the approach to Christmas grew, I knew this was my shot.
Christmas morning had arrived. I rushed out of the bedroom. Santa had come!
In my stocking was a Real Ghostbusters video tape.
I got some Lego's, Mario pajamas, a Ninja Turtle vehicle, a Ninja Turtle Shooting Gallery and some other stuff I don't remember.
After it was all opened, came the question, "Where is my Ghostbusters Firehouse????"
The response was "I guess Santa ran out"
Ran out?? How the fuck does Santa the one guy who has every freakin toy known to man just "RUN OUT???"
Well, after that disappointment was over, I did eventually get a Ghostbusters Firehouse. I still have one to this day, as well as the Ninja Turtle Vehicle and Shooting Gallery.
But Santa, you let me down, and I'll never forgive you for that.
It was 1989. Christmas was coming. I couldn't wait. For weeks and weeks my parents had asked me what I wanted. They even took me to Santa, the one man in the world who would do it for me. He wouldn't disappoint me. Never. He had ALWAYS brought me good stuff in the past.
I was 4 years old. Gone were the easy years for my parents. Instead of just getting me whatever action figures they saw fit, and me being happy, they had asked me what I wanted. It was my call this year.
At the time I lived in a small town that didn't have many shopping options. There was Wal-Mart, and Pamida. That was it. No mall, no Target, no Toys R Us, nothing.
A couple months before that, we had gone to the big town. We were shopping in the toy aisles of Target, and my mission was to pick out a toy I wanted. As we turned the corner to the action figures, there it was on an endcap.
The Ghostbusters Firehouse playset.
I begged, I whined, I screamed, but no. Not today they said. So I ended up settling on a Power Pack Heroes Louis Tully figure.
But as the approach to Christmas grew, I knew this was my shot.
Christmas morning had arrived. I rushed out of the bedroom. Santa had come!
In my stocking was a Real Ghostbusters video tape.
I got some Lego's, Mario pajamas, a Ninja Turtle vehicle, a Ninja Turtle Shooting Gallery and some other stuff I don't remember.
After it was all opened, came the question, "Where is my Ghostbusters Firehouse????"
The response was "I guess Santa ran out"
Ran out?? How the fuck does Santa the one guy who has every freakin toy known to man just "RUN OUT???"
Well, after that disappointment was over, I did eventually get a Ghostbusters Firehouse. I still have one to this day, as well as the Ninja Turtle Vehicle and Shooting Gallery.
But Santa, you let me down, and I'll never forgive you for that.
Reasons to LOVE Halloween day 7
If your'e looking for Day 6, it's under yesterday's post Welcome To October, Welcome to HALLOWEEN.
For today's edition of Reasons to LOVE Halloween I give you :
McDonald's Pumpkin Pies.
At just 69 cents, these little baked bars of goodness come around every fall. Be sure to eat up, because come December, they will go back into hiding, giving way to Custard pies.
For today's edition of Reasons to LOVE Halloween I give you :
At just 69 cents, these little baked bars of goodness come around every fall. Be sure to eat up, because come December, they will go back into hiding, giving way to Custard pies.
Ode to a Nicktoon
In this edition of Ode to a Nicktoon, I give ou
Ren & Stimpy
I found a vhs tape (orange, of course) at a yard sale last weekend, and decided to pop it in.
MAGIC.
It was the episode where Stimpy farted, but had never discovered that he had the abilitl to do this, prompting him to say
"Ren, my butt made a noise"
Of all the magic this cartoon gave us, here are a few highlights
Powder Toast Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn
Log
and finally, Happy Happy Joy Joy
Ren & Stimpy
MAGIC.
It was the episode where Stimpy farted, but had never discovered that he had the abilitl to do this, prompting him to say
"Ren, my butt made a noise"
Of all the magic this cartoon gave us, here are a few highlights
Powder Toast Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn
Beanie Babies, the stupidest thing ever made
There have been millions of bad products marketed to the general public, however only one disgusts me to no end.
Beanie Babies.
They were EVERYWHERE. Every kid had to have them. They came in Happy Meals. Except for the fact that every time you went to McDonalds they were all sold out.
Perhaps the most disturbing thing about these sad little animal shaped sacks filled with plastic beans, is that it inspired every 350 pound 45 year old woman to collect them. And don't you dare fuck up the little heart shaped tags! They will be worthless. They even made little plastic cases for the tags.
I can remember going to a yard sale a couple years after these things had kind of died down.
Somebody picked up one of these stupid things that was shaped like a rooster, and asked how much it is,
The slack-jawed redneck lady then said "$20, that one is retired"
Retired?? WTF!
Yeah, as if it wasn't bad enough that these idiots told people that these things would be worth money, they even went so far as to "Retire" certain animals, so that price and demand would skyrocket.
Well my friends, here we are in 2012. Now these things can be found at every garage sale, and thrift store nationwide. Even better? THEY'RE WORTHLESS!!! Totally freakin WORTHLESS!!!!!!
I still find it funny to see these at a yard sale ran by some old woman in her 60's, and she wants at least $5 a piece for them. NO!!!
These things aren't even collectable now. You can't tell me that anybody who has an education higher than the 2nd grade would possibly go tracking these things down and paying good money for them that could be spent on action figures.
R.I.P. Beanie Babies, nobody misses you.
Beanie Babies.
Perhaps the most disturbing thing about these sad little animal shaped sacks filled with plastic beans, is that it inspired every 350 pound 45 year old woman to collect them. And don't you dare fuck up the little heart shaped tags! They will be worthless. They even made little plastic cases for the tags.
I can remember going to a yard sale a couple years after these things had kind of died down.
Somebody picked up one of these stupid things that was shaped like a rooster, and asked how much it is,
The slack-jawed redneck lady then said "$20, that one is retired"
Retired?? WTF!
Yeah, as if it wasn't bad enough that these idiots told people that these things would be worth money, they even went so far as to "Retire" certain animals, so that price and demand would skyrocket.
Well my friends, here we are in 2012. Now these things can be found at every garage sale, and thrift store nationwide. Even better? THEY'RE WORTHLESS!!! Totally freakin WORTHLESS!!!!!!
I still find it funny to see these at a yard sale ran by some old woman in her 60's, and she wants at least $5 a piece for them. NO!!!
These things aren't even collectable now. You can't tell me that anybody who has an education higher than the 2nd grade would possibly go tracking these things down and paying good money for them that could be spent on action figures.
R.I.P. Beanie Babies, nobody misses you.
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